Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
