Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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