Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ttyl tear gas
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
