So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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