i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
