This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
