We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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