if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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