So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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