The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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