just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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