Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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