absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
