This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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