AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
