I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
