I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
