Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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