Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
