Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
God, I missed his penis.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
