I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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