Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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