How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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