No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
