I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
