The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
