I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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