There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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