What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight