I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
