I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
