Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
