Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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