Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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