32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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