Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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