why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
