So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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