Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
