And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
