My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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