i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They took my balls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
