Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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