he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
