What a fucking waste of an outfit
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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