this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
two words: eviction party
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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