I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
