I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
