Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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