i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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