he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize