I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
