these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
