I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
