I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
