I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
