he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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