i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
