I'm really into asian looking animals
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
