Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
